Idiots in Love
by cherrydust
Summary: Goyjo loves Hakkai. Hakkai loves Goyjo, simple right? Of course not, otherwise we wouldn't have a fic...


Idiots in Love

Part One: Hakkai

            I understand so much of the world. Ask me a question and there's a 90% guarantee I can give you a reasonable answer. And if I can't give you one off the top of my head, I'll search until I find an answer.

            I understand so much…but when it comes to emotions, I know nothing. I can identify primal instincts likes hunger, anger and contentment. But to delve into the depths of a mind and heart? I can't do that.

            I can explain what make a clock tick. I can tell you why the world goes 'round the sun. But if you asked me to explain what love is; what it is to lay down your life for someone *gladly*…I can't answer that.

            Oh, sure, I could explain the physical half, like why the pulse picks up and the heart races. But to explain why people even feel that way? Never.

            And that is *exactly* why I am lost. I know he's my friend. We wouldn't waste time on each other if we weren't. I know that he's good-looking…*very* good-looking. Otherwise he wouldn't be half so popular…being able to turn on the charm doesn't hurt either. He smokes; smokes like a chimney. I should be disgusted by it-so should everyone else-but just like his many conquests, I am taken in by his airy excuse: 'a cloud of smoke around a guy's head gives him a sense of mystery'. How can anyone argue with *that*?

            Not that I could argue with him. One look into those crimson eyes and I'm lost. Who can resist crimson eyes anyway? Plenty…everyone but you, that nagging little voice snickers at me. I wish that for once, just one, my conscience would shut the hell up.

            Because it knows things, realizes feeling before I even know they have the potential to exist. Stupid conscience that was aware of my heart and made me love before I knew what love was!

            Yes! I know now, see it more clearly than I've ever seen anything in my life. I love him. I love him for all the things he is and for all the things he isn't. For the things he'll be and all the things he'll never be. I love him…love the champion player. Love someone who only sees me as a casual, one-night stand if he even sees me as anything other than a friend.

            I'm calm now and a growing sense of heartbreak is descending upon me. He can't know. Because…it'll break my heart. And it will break his mind to hurt me. I know him and I know he cares about me as a friend. And despite his sharp tongue, he hates to hurt his friends. Even the hungry little ape.

            The thought of Goku makes me smile even as I make my decision.

            Goyjo will never know. It has to be that way to keep us all satisfied if not happy.

            The sun is rising. Have I really sat up all night pondering this? I must have because I can hear the door ease open and the guilty tread of Goyjo's footsteps as he makes his way up the stairs and pauses outside my door. He knocks quietly before pushing the door slowly open. He smiles a winning, repentant smile at me before asking sheepishly, "Do you have any painkiller?"

            I nod and press my lips tightly together as I point him to the bed and disappear, in search of the wanted medication. When I return, is with a glass of water and the desired painkiller.

            "Drink," I order, pressing the pills and glass into his hand. He obeys and smiles thankfully as his aching body receives the medication. "Thanks." I nod in acknowledgment of his words and he gives me another gentle smile before leaving, closing the door softly behind him.

            I sigh as I sit on the bed, still warm from his presence.

            This is our routine. It happens every day, never changing, never varying.

            I used to despise chance, used to welcome routine. But now…

            Now, what would I give if our routine changed just once! If just once, Goyjo didn't walk out that door…

Part Two: Goku

            I admit it. I'm not as intelligent about everyday things like the others. I don't read a thing except for menus at restaurants and the back of the cereal box. Mathematics fly right over my head and ancient history to me is what I ate last night for supper. Language arts are simply words and science goes in one ear and out the other. I can't keep my mind on one subject for longer than fifteen minutes and I'm a bit too fond of food. But, contrary to popular opinion, I am *not* stupid and I am *quite* aware of what goes on around me.

            Like I said, I'm not stupid. And it would take a real idiot to miss what goes on between Hakkai and Goyjo.

            They are so obviously head over heels for each other, its almost unreal. It's clear to me from the expressions on Goyjo's face when he gazes at Hakkai and from the way he speaks of him; he worships the ground he treads on. And from Hakkai's looks, its evident that he's jealous of Goyjo's conquests. From the way his whole body tenses and he drops his gentle tones whenever Goyjo gets a little too friendly with a girl, I know he's jealous. And jealousy is a clear sign of affection.

            And I know that Hakkai has brotherly affection for me.

            And from the way he treats me to the way he treats Goyjo, I *know* his affection isn't brotherly for Goyjo. I *know* his jealousy comes from unrequited love, not from brotherly over-protectiveness.

            Everyone thinks I'm a stupid little ape.

            But at least I see what's going on in front of me. No one else misses it but the two of them. They are so obviously in love. I've heard of people not realizing what's in front of them, but this is ridiculous! They practically are in each other's laps 24/7 and neither one has the slightest hint as to what the other feels!

            I suppose I should feel sorry for them. I suppose I should drop hints for each other.

            But then…Goyjo does call me a dumbass ape all the time.

            But Hakkai's never done anything to me…

            Oh, screw it. They can figure it out for themselves.

            After all, that's what Sanzou and me had to do.

            Fair is fair.

Part Three: Sanzou

            I live with a passel of idiots.

            Hakkai is always mooning after Goyjo who is CLEARLY dying of lust for him but they're so stupid they can't figure it out. And the ape never shuts up and is always hungry…on a different note, that is also a very CUTE ape and that makes up for minor annoyances.

            Ack, I just said the ape was cute! I'm getting to be as bad as Mister-Playboy-Goyjo!

            Anyways, I was ranting about the idiocy of Hakkai and Goyjo. They're so pathetic sometimes, I just wanna get out my fan and smack them both over the heads! Yeah, I think a few good slaps with the fan might help clear their muddled senses a bit…yeah. Thank the kind powers that be for bestowing my wonderful fan on me.

            What would I do without it?

            Well for one, I would probably have to put up with a lot more shit from my so-called comrades. Actually Goku is probably a bit more than a comrade…but I'm getting off-topic again! I'm as bad as the ape, look at the way my mind is jumping around!

            Returning to the topic at hand, Goyjo and Hakkai are stupid with a capital S. If I didn't know them so well, I'd say they were simply in love with the idea of love. But since sadly, I live with them day in and day out, I consider myself an authority on their personalities. And being the authority on their personalities, I can safely say Goyjo and Hakkai are in LOVE.

            Just thinking of that makes me shudder.

            I can just imagine what would happen if they ever confessed their love…sleepless nights because of mysterious 'sounds' emitting from their bedroom…sappy shit from the both of them…bad food because Hakkai would always be smiling at Goyjo and wouldn't cook properly…me or the ape having to drive because they'd have moved into the backseat at Goyjo's prompting…ugh!

            But…ANYTHING is better than hearing Hakkai sigh all the Goddamned time! And ANYTHING is better than hearing Goyjo flirt with innumerable girls to cope with his new-GAY-feelings.

            Aw shit, now I supposed I have to be a good Samaritan and DO something about it. Damn them all!

            So that about sums it up why I'm in the kitchen right now, drumming my fan on the tabletop, trying to figure out a way to tell them how stupid they are and that should both wake up and smell the coffee!

            "Um, Sanzou? Is there something you'd like to tell us?" Hakkai broke into my concentration gently. Damn him. Couldn't he see I was *thinking*?

            "Yes, there is a as a matter of fact." I glared, smacked him with my fan and glared at the both of them. "YOU TWO ARE THE STUPIDEST PEOPLE I HAVE EVER MET!"

            That out of my system, I left the kitchen in search of a certain ape.

            I needed another way to vent besides ranting and hitting people with fans.

Part Four: Goyjo

            I stared in confusion as Sanzou stormed out of the kitchen. I swear; ever since he and the dumbass ape have started sleeping together, he's gotten weirder than ever. It must have something to do with the sexual tension being released; it's the only explanation that makes sense.

            Speaking of sexual tension…I glanced up to gaze on the brunette still rubbing his head in shock. God…what I'd give to touch him…I wonder if he's a virgin.

            We've never talked about it although we've discussed love and sex among other things before. He knows I'm not, everyone knows, it's not like I hide it or anything. But Hakkai? I doubt it; he's very attractive, to both sexes. But he's also very reserved…he could be the type who wants to 'save' it for marriage. I've had girls like that…I've always worn them down in the end, but its still the same basic concept.

            Ooh, wouldn't it be nice if he were? I'd love to be the first to touch him…be the first to hear his cries…be the first to kiss that smooth skin…oh shit, if I keep going on like this I'm gonna need a cold shower.

            And Sha Goyjo does NOT like taking cold showers.

            "I wonder what's wrong with him," Hakkai said absently, his hand slowly slipping down from his head. I love the way his hair looks after he rubs his head…so soft and rumpled…so sweet…I've fallen hard.

            I'm no newcomer to love and lust. I've thought myself to be in love many times. I've *known* to be in lust many more times. So it wasn't really any surprise to me when I started feeling more than friendship for Hakkai. I wasn't shocked by it; I've had male lovers before so I suppose I'm 'bi'. But I was definitely very shocked when I fell in love.

            It was so smooth and flawless; I never even noticed I was falling until I was head-over-heels for the guy. I mean, it was so ridiculously simple it's stupid! We were in that Jeep of his late at night. Goku and Sanzou were in the back sleeping…it was before they were lovers so it was highly amusing to see Goku sleeping with his head resting on Sanzou's lap. Hakkai was driving and I was watching the two in the back, trying to decide whether to wake 'em up and laugh as the poor ape was abused or sit and back enjoy the irony of the situation. And then, suddenly I'd glanced up to see Hakkai shake his head in an attempt to stay awake…he threw me a sleepy smile…and I knew I was in love.

            That sounds so pathetically sentimental but what can I say? I'm in love with the guy! I think I deserve the right to be a little sappy!

            "Goyjo…Earth to Goyjo…" Hakkai waved a hand in front of my eyes and tapped my shoulder gently. "Goyjo!"

            "What?" I turned and tried to glare at him. I couldn't. He's too kind to me for me to have the right to be angry. What would I do without his doctoring after long nights of fooling around? What would I do without his restraining hand and that offbeat sense of humor of his? Probably go insane and kill Goku.

            "What're you thinking about?" Hakkai asked, leaning against the counter and smiling gently down at me.

            "You."

            Okay. Not only am I sentimental, I'm stupid and blunt. What a wonderful combination. Maybe I'll be blurting out 'I love you next!'

            "What?"

            Oh SHIT! I couldn't have possibly *said* that! Could I? "What what?"

            "You said you were thinking about me. So…I asked what. Is there something hanging out of my nose or something?" I love his smile. So soft and gentle…something about it that hints sensuality…I'm gonna die if I can't touch him, just once.

            "No…" I stood up and leant over the counter. "But…there's something on your mouth."

            "Really?" I can feel his breath washing over my face. It's warm and faintly veined with the flavor of citrus. Citrus? I glanced down at the bowl by his elbow. Oranges. Ah, yes one of the joys we can experience in human form, well other than sex, is food. No wonder Goku's such a little pig; I don't know how well he can taste when his limiter's off.

            "Yeah…you've got a little fleck of something riiiiight here…" I reached out and brushed away the crumb, pausing and letting my fingers linger on his lips. His eyes met mine and he swallowed visibly.

            "Could you…could you take your hands away from my face?" He asked quietly.

            I would have. I think I really would have if I hadn't caught a glimmer of tears in his eyes. "Hakkai?"

            "Leave me *alone*!" He snapped, tearing away from me and planting his back firmly against the counter, facing me. I sighed, walked around the damned thing and stood so I was facing him.

            "You know Hakkai…you're my closest friend," I stated bluntly. "If something's wrong, tell me."

            "Have…have you ever been in love, Goyjo?" What the hell was that supposed to mean? He saw my hesitation. "No, not like with all those *girls*-," did I detect a note of jealousy? I hoped so. "But *really* on love."

            "I've never *been* in love…I'm *in* it," I replied softly with emphasis on past and present tenses. Hakkai's eyes widened as my hands reached up to gently to touch his face. "Guess what, Hakkai."

            "What?" he whispered, his tone strangled.

            "I've got a secret."

            "Don't we all?"

            "What's your secret?"

            "I'm in love with a player. I'm an idiot," He stated, managing to gather his dignity about him. Oh, he was so close then…but no, I had to stay cool, continue this little seduction of mine.

            "You know what mine is?"

            "No…"

            "I love you." His eyes widened then…and I kissed him.

            Wow. What a kiss. What a guy.

            I was vaguely aware of that damned monk and his ape exchanging high-fives in the doorway.

            Something's GOT to be done about Sanzou; he's starting to worry me. But right now, I'll just be concerned with *him*.

            After all, I'm positive Goku's more than capable of taking care of Sanzou.

::End::

AN: My first Saiyuki fic if you couldn't tell. I have no knowledge about the anime other than what general knowledge I've collected from fanfiction and the very few sites I've been able to find. I know the characters are probably OOC but y'know; I'm an author. I can take liberties. ^_~ Anyways, hope you enjoyed this fic of mine.


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